im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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