Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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