All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
