I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have post one night stand depression
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
