At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i think im in europe. pls send help
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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