just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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