wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
