ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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