I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
