It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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