I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
