is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
