Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
