my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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