I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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