can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
