I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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