i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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