I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize