she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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