I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize