Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
