How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
