I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
that may or may not have been my penis.
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