Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
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This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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