YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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