I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
