I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
