Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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