Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I deserve this hangover.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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