The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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