I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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