Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
