I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A+ Viking dick
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
