I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
