I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
