I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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