Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
In America we eat man semen.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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