Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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