What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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