My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
People in love make me want to vomit
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
