Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
