Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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