is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize