This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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