The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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