i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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