Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
