Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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