Will you blow on my dice?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
