I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
