Will you blow on my dice?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
