the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
