I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
