Whod you bang
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize