Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Randomize
